It is day four of the latest leg of the war. The field is a mess with the carnage of those who have come before, though we all know that there will be a new deployment of soldiers who will come to fill their spots in this never-ending cycle.
Seemingly without end, that is. We all know that eventually there must be a victor between the mighty conflict of the Grapes of Wrath, the Banana Republic, and the Big Apple.
The mighty Banana seeks to reign supreme, arguing that only it has been beloved by the Nile Empress and can facilitate the most important human game of â€œPretend Telephone,â€ and the Apple proclaims its might over all fruitdom through itâ€™s blessed station in biblical word and standing as the mascot for their grand city. Butâ€¦
We Grapes will not give up.
Deep down, we know that we are the most beloved. We come in so many shades and are a crucial component to human life everywhere.
Without we grapes, how could children be sent off to school with delicious sandwiches? Will they eat sandwiches crafted only of PB!
No parent would survive the scorn of a J-less PBJ lunch! The human race would be over.
And even if, somehow, they managed to survive such an onslaught through the substitution of a lesser jelly, we still hold the greatest ace in all of humanity. Without we grapes, the stock of wine would all but dry up.
It is a long game we play, but it is one we will win!
Join us, mighty ally.
Join the Grapes of Wrath as one of our mighty violet soldiers with this Purple Grapes costume. Admire the purple sacks that readily accept balloons to make you full and mighty.
Enjoy the matching purple cap that binds to your head with the mystical power of Velcro. Join us.
Win this war with us. Be as beloved as is the wine that humans will soon flock towards.
Defeat the banana!